Masculinity Vs Toxic Masculinity

Okay, So if you have been on the internet at all this week, you might have heard about Gillette's new Add Campaign.


If you haven't, you will need to watch it to get started: https://youtu.be/koPmuEyP3a0

The point is that Gillette's slogan has always been "A Best a Man Can Get" and they have evolved to "The Best a Man Can Be" And this short Minute and a Half Film shows the harsh reality of why that change was needed coming into 2019

What us as a society considers "okay" has evolved, over centuries. There was a time when we socially excepted slaves & arranged marriages. There was a time when women were not allowed to vote, learn how to read, wear shoes or leave the house with out the company of a man. There are still places in the world where some of these social rules are considered completely normal.

The point of this campaign is to remind us that we need to set a better example for our next generation. As a society, over time we have made steps to make the lives of those around us better and more valuable. Women are voting, working and making decisions for them selves. We still have a long way to go because we can really consider ourselves to have the same rights as men, and I will touch on that a little later.

Those changes didn't come with a polite ask. We had to fight, and say truths people didn't want to hear to have our voices heard. There were wars. People died. All so we could change what was considered "okay" to leave a better world for our next generation.

Now many of those things don't seem un reasonable at all, because we raised a generation that taught young people that no one owns you, you can follow your dreams, you can make a difference.

So tell me, WHY are [some] men taking this idea, as such an attack that they are boycotting Gillette for saying they believe men can be better people. Pardon me, but are you fucking kidding me?

A comment on the Buzzfeed article most of you may have seen or shared makes a really valid point:
“how did we make a society that finds “don’t sexually harass women, don’t let boys or men assault each other, and treat each other with respect” a controversial message?”

That is a great question.

I really don't need to get into the dirty details of why the #MeToo movement is such a big deal. It is very complex, every situation is different but it, to its core is due to the fact that women are still not considered equals.

We still have a male dominant government, deciding what we can and cannot do with our bodies. A man can answer a short list of questions and have a vasectomy with out his wife even knowing about it. Where as a woman who wants to get an abortion, or a hysterectomy is told what she can and cant do with her own body even when its in the bests interests of that body. Not everyone is in suitable shape to produce children. My thoughts? People who don't want kids, shouldn't have them. Period. But she has to wait till she is over 35 and have permission from her husband. When really, if you marry someone who doesn't want kids, and you do, you have the freedom to marry someone else instead. Its something you should talk about before getting married, and no one should have to be bullied into having kids if they don't want to, but women are every single day.

There are so many gaps in equality, I could go on all day. Its not like we haven't been talking about it our whole lives. Most of you get it, we still have steps to make.

This campaign also recognizes there are millions of great men, those who have sisters, daughters, mothers and friends. Those who were raised with manners and respect. Those who honor the women of our world. But it needs to be a standard. We need more of it.

This isn't a target of masculinity, its a target of toxic masculinity. [I tried to find this post someone made on tumblr to give them credit for it, but I cant seem to dig it up but it went something like this]
Its not hard to tell that we are talking about two very different things. For example, Pants, and Exploding Pants are different, thats why one of them has a alarming adjective in front of it and the other is completely non threatening.

Everyone is so worked up about the noun, they aren't paying any attention to the fact that one of them has an adjective and the other doesn't. Adjectives are powerful words. Its the difference between mild and spicy hot sauce. Its the difference between a long shift and a short shift. Its the difference between a small penis and a gigantic one. See what I mean?

So if you were offended by the campaign I think you need to take a real look at your self in the mirror.

For true equality, masculinity and femininity are not bad or scary words on their own, and they never should be. Women with a "masculine" side who like to get muddy and race dirt bikes are, and should be admired. Men with a "feminine" side who are thoughtful, intuitive and have attention to detail are, and should be admired. Equality is acknowledging that lots of social conventions and traits that we have aligned acceptable with one gender, are not gender based qualities at all. It goes both ways. Women can be emotionally un available too. Men can be sensitive too. Men can embrace and be proud of their masculinity or their femininity, and vise versa. Whatever you are, you are right.

Toxic Masculinity is saying that "this toxic behaviour is okay only because I am a man"
Toxic Femininity is saying "this is toxic behaviour okay only because I am a women"

That's the difference. Your gentiles do not give you a free pass to be disrespect those around you. Simple as that. Why it takes an entry this long to explain that concept to people, is exactly what is holding us back as a society.

We can be better, thats the point. Thanks Gillette for having the balls to say it.