Some times you want to share something in someone elses words that you relate to because you struggle to find the words your self. This is pretty normal behaviour.
However, some of the stuff thats floating around out there is non sense. It could be toxic and may impact your life in a negative way when you share it. Let me explain.
First let me remind you all that mediums like Facebook are a public place. Even with a sensibly monitored friends list, and the use of different privacy functions, that stuff is still public.
Many people like to put out what they believe to be the best version of them selves online. We post our most flattering photos, our accomplishments, our best thoughts, things about our selves we are proud to love and share with the world.
The world you guys.
Sometimes when Facebook asks us "Whats on your mind Michelle" we take it a bit too literally!
I'm going to identify 5 types of quote memes that you might want to pass on sharing.
1. "Quote Memes" That Validate Your Toxic Behaviour
There are 2 reasons why you should stop sharing this one specifically. First is that there is no confirmed documentation that M.Monroe actually said this, so its not accurate to attribute it to her. Whether she said it or not, doesn't make it more or less valuable, just look at the context. This entire notion itself is stupid, and in a lot of different scenarios is absolutely terrible advice. Its an incredibly easy way for a narcissist to justify their terrible behaviour and it needs to stop right now. Its not an excuse to use people you love as a punching bag so they can be "rewarded" with your best self after you get your shit together. This does not justify you being toxic to others around you just because you are in a bad space. Its is up to you, and only you to manage your worst self so that you can get past whatever it is you are going through, and become your best self. That's it. Pretty straight forward.
2. "Quote Memes" That Encourage Toxic Behaviour in Others
First of all, don't tell me who to marry. Second of all, NO. When you block someone, it means you are trying to set a boundary with that person. It means either for now, or for the foreseeable future, you do not wish for this person to speak to you. Even if this guy is your partner, you are saying "I need space" Everyone manages stressful situations differently, and all though men are often attributed to needing space and time to sort out their thoughts before they can talk after a fight, that need is not gender specific. If your partner sets a boundary, whether or not that aligns with what works best for you, you need to respect that. After they have calmed down and are ready to talk, then you can explain to them the negative impact that the silent treatment gives you and how to compromise on solutions that work better for both of you to communicate in the future. But for now, if they blocked you, for a valid reason or not, leave them alone. I shouldn't even have to explain this and this picture should not exist.
3. "Quote Memes" With Obvious Spelling Mistakes
I don't know, maybe this "cold hearted bitch" is also part of a foot, or shoe, or species of fish. Who am I to judge. But I think they probably meant to say "beautiful soul" instead. So if you didn't catch that, and you shared it on your time line, I'm going to quietly laugh at you. I personally wouldn't go out of my way to make you feel stupid, but I would scroll past it and deduct that yeah, you're kinda dumb. Though beware, the grammar police are coming for you! I'm sure I've make spelling and grammatical errors before too & auto correct is also a jerk. The English language is kinda of stupid, lots of words sound the same and have different meanings, but some of these words are pretty common, come on kids, stay in school.
For the quote itself, honestly I would prefer you believe neither. Maybe you should start with a clean slate and decide for your self what you think of me? If life has taught me anything, its that no one knows anyone. People sometimes don't even know them selves. No one person is 100% predictable, and its because people grow and change every day. The person you thought you knew yesterday is a different person today. Remember that.
4. The "Too Busy Meme"
There are many versions of this meme, and I might have even been guilty of this one at one point in my life. However I don't think you should share it, because there are too many times it puts people on the chopping block when they don't deserve to be. The number one reason is this. The most important person that you need to make time for is yourself. You cant do that if you have to run around and be a super hero all the time. We all know that person who skins them selves to heal the wounded around them and they deserve to take some time to work on them selves. So let them. You have to learn how to set apart the people who "leave you on read" because they cant be bothered to type back, from the person who is at work, and needs to leave their notification tray clear for incoming messages or texts from their boss. Yes, people use their cell phones for work. "Active" does not mean "Available to talk" People may also be fighting their own battles you don't know about and cant be the friend you deserve right now. It does not mean they don't care about you. I have 500+ friends on my Facebook page and I can count on one hand the ones I have not met in real life. Every single one of those people are important. I do not have time for all of them. Its just a physical impossibility. However if there is someone you have reached out to that keeps letting you down, then yes. Let them go. Some people are just meant to be acquaintances and casual friends. Its not that big of a deal, that space in your inner circle is just meant for someone else. You don't need to write them off completely.
5. The "Woe is Me[me]"
I know, I am such a hypocrit! I have posted milder things of this nature before in my life too. However, that is exactly why I can tell you that posting this stuff on your Facebook is a bad idea. One of 2 things will happen, but usually both simultaneously. The first is that a bunch of your friends will comment something positive, and supportive in the attempt to make you feel better. Which really, in that moment when you post stuff like this, is kind of what you were going for. However, its a little bit of a passive aggressive way of going about it. The second thing that might happen, is someone calls you out for it. Now, to those of you who do this, its kind of a dick move to kick people when they are down. It will not be perceived as "tough love" by the person you direct it to, if that was your intention. Telling an angry person to "calm down" has a much smaller success rate than you think it does. The reason I don't suggest you share this meme, even though we all feel this way, and its okay to feel this way, is that Facebook is not a safe place to be this vulnerable. Someone, who's opinion is important to you, might not have something nice to say. It can permanently damage relationships you have with friends and family members. Let me tell you a story.
I remember a time when I posted about being sick, and not having the energy or desire to cook for my self. I live alone and I don't have family here so I don't have anyone in my life who can take care of me when I am sick. I had also gone through a really devastating break up at the time. [which was not very Facebook public so hardly anyone knew I was not in a good place] I was just putting it out there hoping someone might be able to grab some things at the store for me, bring me some soup or whatever. For me to get medicine or food requires a bus or cab. Cabs cost $ and the bus takes up half my day, when I should be at home resting. Not an unreasonable favour to ask, but at this time in my life I didn't have anyone close enough to me that I felt comfortable enough to reach out to. So instead, I posted on Facebook. My thought behind this, is that if you don't want to help, or cant help, I'm not putting you under pressure to come up with an excuse. You can just keep scrolling, and I wont be making you feel guilty about not wanting to or not being able to. That's your prerogative & no one is required to take care of me. What ended up happening was an all out un-friending from someone in my circle. Seems a little extreme right? They made a comment along the lines of "you need to be more independent and take better care of yourself" I took a huge offense to this. Firstly because there are even commercials about the "man cold" We all have a laugh and think its cute that these men turn into such babies when they have a cold and they need someone to take care of them. But when I do it, in a less exaggerated way and I'm knocked down because of it. It didn't seem fair, and I felt attacked. This friend was some what close to me, this friend knew about the break up, this friend knew I lived alone and had no family near by, knew that I struggled but I was still always trying. It hurt coming from this person. I also felt embarrassed that they called me out in public like that. If it was tough love they was going for, they could have messaged me privately, we were some what close after all. I was going to let it blow over after I cooled off. Maybe she would apologize and say that she meant well. But she didn't. It wasn't until a few weeks later when her and her bf got sick and she posted about "The Man Cold" on Facebook that I deleted her. I was so mad at the hypocrisy of the situation. I was also a little bit petty and jealous that she had a supportive relationship and her family was always there for her. I didn't think she could relate to my experience so I felt at the time she had no right to publicly shame me about it. So I did what I thought was best for me at the time, I cut her out of my life. However this had long term and negative impacts on my life. There were social gatherings I no longer got invited too, and friendships with other people that weakened as a result. There were lots of people that only got one side of that story, and now think less of me because of it.
That's why you shouldn't share this meme. Its too out of context because no one knows your struggle. It leaves you too vulnerable in a place that isn't safe. One thing that I'm learning, and that one of my closest friends is trying very hard to teach me, is that its okay to ask for help, to the right people. They once got mad at me for taking a cab home with my groceries instead of asking them for a ride, because they were out and about that day and it wouldn't have bothered them at all. Taking cabs kills my budget, but I have always felt I don't have much of a choice. I do have a choice. I [now] have people in my life that are safe to trust with my feelings of vulnerability. I can set aside my pride, ask for help, with out being kicked down, or made to feel guilty. Identify who these people are in your life, and do everything you can to keep these relationships healthy. Don't be passive-aggressive or toxic to these people when you are at your worst, and remember to thank them for being there.
In Closure
So there you have it. 5 types of quote memes you should pass on sharing.
What are other types of things you think your Facebook Feed could do with out and why?
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